Four Stumble Upon Hogwarts
by Carpie Noctrum
Summary: As four girls stumble upon hogwarts will secrets be unraveled? Will love form? What is the new threat to the wizardry world? T innuendos


We do not own harry potter only the story line and some characters

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Chap 1

"Were the fuck are we?" said a frustrated voice which came from beside the black and grey Suzuki Hayabusa 130, her black waist length hair flipped around as she twist and turned to see where they were.

"Calm down Clare." A soothing voice came from her left. Turning to her left Clare saw her friend un-mount her own silver and scarlet Yamaha YZF-R6. "Well go in some direction until we hit a town and find out where we are." Her friend rationalized. "Unless" she turned her head towards the yellow camero "Sinead can tells WHERE WE ARE ON THE MAP." As the dainty redhead turned towards them and glared.

"Didn't I tell you it was a bad idea to let me navigate Anna?" She glared at her.

"Hey it is not my fault, you're supposed to be the smartone, not the directionally-challenged one" came the nonchalant reply.

"WHY ARE YOU SO CALM, We're lost dammit?!"

"Why do you like riding Hippos?"

"……."

"…….."

"What the hell Anna!!"

"Oh, sorry, running joke in the family, it was on some YouTube video"

"Ugh, whatever!!"

"It did succeed in calming you down a bit Clare, you're not shouting anymore."

"Fair point."

"I thought so, Sinead"

"If we don't find our way back, I'm going to start shouting again, REALLY SOON!!!"

"Calm it Clare, we'll just check the map again and if we have no luck, we'll go with the original plan to ask at the next town we come to, is that ok"

"Fair enough, I suppose. Yo, Clara!"

The fourth and most dirty-minded of the group stepped out of the red Mini-Coup, which she'd wisely taken refuge in when the argument had begun, to answer. "What?"

"Get the map?"

"Um, it's not here!"

"Wait. What?"

"You lost it!"

"No, Sinead lost it!"

Sinead, who had been strangely quiet for some time was met with two very heated glares from the two bikers.

"You LOST the map!"

"And didn't mention this"

Sinead stumbled over her words as she fearfully rushed out an excuse.

"Well, uh, it kind of blew out the window when we passed the lake and- and I was too embarrassed to tell ye."

Clare let out a frustrated sigh as Anna shook her head.

"Plan B it is then."

It was while they were putting on their helmets that Anna looked up and did a double take.

"What the…"

Clare looked up to see what was wrong and let out a long, low whistle.

"Since when, was there a castle there?"

Sinead and Clara looked up from where they were getting into their car and gaped.

"How did we miss that?"

On top of a cliff in the distance there was a huge castle amidst the trees and fields, though it certainly wasn't there before.

"Anyone remember anything about castles in this area."

"It would help if we knew what this area was. Though the castle I remember hearing about at the tourist desk in the last town was only supposed to be in complete ruins."

"Well this one doesn't look like that. Heck, I think I can see flickering lights on over there and greenhouses."

"Maybe we travelled further than we should, we might not have noticed at that speed, seeing as Anna insisted on breaking pretty much every speed limit, and having bike races against me."

At this everyone turned to look at Anna, who shrugged her shoulders and said, "What can I say; I'm a speed-freak!"

"We guessed!"

"Anyhoooo why don't we stop bullying-me time and head towards the castle it seems to be the only place around and it's not too far away."

"I suppose, what's the worst that could happen"

At this Clare and Anna looked at each other in terror and chorused, "Ah shit, Sineeeeaaaaddd!"

"What did I do?"

"Look you never,"

"EVER"

"Say 'What's the worst that could happen' in these situations"

"Why not?"

"Because it's like your challenging the Universe, so that means that…"

"The worst that can happen **will** happen"

"Don't you read books?"

"Don't you know right well that now the castle will hold a group of psychotic murderers,"

"Drug dealers,"

"People in weird clothes,"

"People with some Mental Disorder who believe themselves to be something that doesn't exist, namely a wizard!"

"……….."

"……….."

"That was oddly… descriptive, Clara."

But Clara was in her own world as she continued on, "Or Really hot guys, all on swim teams who hate wearing clothes and have been separated from women for so long that as soon as they see us they'll want to…."

"OK, stop right there, let's try to keep this clean, at least!"

"Ugh, let's just try it out; despite Sinead jinxing us, I'm sure we have a gun somewhere in case they're too creepy."

"OK, to the creepy-ish castle, that may or may not host dangerous lunatics, and is surrounded by even creepier woods!"

At that they hopped on their bikes and Sinead and Clara got into their car and they set off.

This was gonna be fun!

As they got closer to the castle they saw more details as it towered over the four, giant wooden doors marked the entrance. They say the older the stones are the more you know how long it was there but these stones where unscratched as thought it were new. Four towers outlined the castle and were bigger than the main structure.

Stopping outside the great doors they left their transports and came closer. As Anna, Sinead, Clare and Clara reached the door they put their hands on it. Anna Turned to Clare and nodded and she in turn turned towards the other two and nodded.

"HELP US!!!!!!"

Soon shouting and banging echoed through the court yards. Groups of students paused their activities; teachers who had heard went towards the ruckus with wands out. In the group a man with a tall blue hat with silver designs and half-moon glasses opened the door to see not what he had been expecting, a group of four teenage girls around the age of 17 stood outside the great doors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with some large mechanical contraptions behind them.

Albus Dumbledore stared at them and they too stared back.

"Excuse me sir but can you tells us where we are?" A voice asked. Looking at the questioner noticed that it was from the shortest of the group. She had long black waist length hair with bright blue eyes that were laced with confusion. Instead of answering there question he peered at them over his spectacles.

"Come with me." Albus said as he turned his back on them. The group hesitated and stared at each other reluctantly they made their way inside the great doors and notice a bunch of adults pointing sticks at them and students peering down at them from the windows.

"What a welcoming committee." Clara whispered to them.

The only sound they heard was their own footsteps and those of the adults wearing funny looking clothes.

"Are they trying to make a fashion statement?" Anna asked as she and Clara cringed at the clothes they wore.

As they walked the great halls they were amazed but the structure of the place. They stopped at a large Gargoyle. The group huddled around each other as some adults talked to the LPHG (Large Pointy Hat Guy).

"What do we do?"

"Calm, Sinead."

"Don't you tell me to be calm Clara."

"What if they kill us or make us like some weird slaves."

"Not helping-"

"Or make us wear those clothes."

"What will they do with our bikes."

"They better not touch my bike or-"

"Shut up the three of you or so help me god I will destroy your babies."

Anna, Sinead and Clare were quiet as soon as Clara threatened to hurt their bikes and car.

"Will explain we just want to know where we are and we will be on our way.2

"Nice, short, sweet, I like it Clara."

"Of course you do Anna."

"Would you young ladies come with me?" The girls jumped at the sound of the LPHG from behind them. His eyes twinkled with amusement at them knowing that he hear all of their conversation.

He turned to the gargoyle statue and said, "Blood Pops."

"Sounds gross."

"Ewww, vampire much?"

"I want to try one."

At this everyone turned to Clare and stared.

"What?!"

However the retort was interrupted by the sight of the gargoyle moving to one side.

"Wait, how'd it do that?!"

"Probably, the same way automatic doors work!"

"Yeah, that'd be it."

This said they followed LPHG up the stairs to a door which lead into what was presumed to be his office.

"Nice place, dude"

"Thank you, please sit." He gestured to the armchairs in front of his desk and the girls slumped into them.

"So, how did you come to be here?"

"We were lost and we saw your castle so we drove here to ask for directions."

"Yes, yes but how did you **see** the castle?"

His question was met with raised eyebrows and incredulous stares from the girls.

"With our eyes. Duh!"

LPHG aka Albus Dumbledore put rubbed his temples and sighed.

"Look, this castle is Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and to non-magical people, who we call muggles, it simply appears to be a bunch of ruins. So having four apparently muggle teenagers appear at the door is **not normal**!"

This was met with silence as four sets of eyes blinked back at him. A raised eyebrow and a smirk were the only warnings before the entire group burst into laughter.

"Seems that you were right Clara." Anna said between giggles.

At this Clara looked hopeful, "About the hot guys on swim teams who don't wear clothes and will…"

"No! The other theory."

"Oh, about the delusional people who think they're wizards, yeah I was right."

"No," LPHG interrupted, "We really are wizards."

"Sure you are," Anna replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"We are, let me prove it to you" He said as he reached to the inside pocket in the front of his robes to retrieve his wand, "I just need to retrieve my magic wand."

He looked up to see the girls running out of his office in fear, screaming.

He stared after them, confused, "What did I do?" He wondered.

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Hope you enjoy!!!!!!

Written by Carpie Noctrum

Carpie Deim


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